"I cannot tell you how fascinating it is to watch these various condemnatory narratives about me spin around in cyberspace. " ~ Dr. Diana Blaine

I happened upon a link today where I had posted a comment. When I type my name in certain places it sets some people off on a venomous rant about me. I find it rather humorous that I have affected them in this way. This anonymous female person goes off on a whole tirade about how fat and boring and untalented I am. Even going as far as to mention me in relation to crystal meth. Funny, considering I barely drink. Why have some unknown female misfits latched onto me in this wild wacky world of cyberspace? Glad you asked because I have a theory.

Jealousy. That's right I said it, jealousy. The same kind of petty jealousy some girls dealt with in high school. The miscreants find one another in cyberspace and they proceed to do what they do best- tear other people down. We see it all the time on these celebrity blogs. The famous are called names and the dirt is dished daily (say that fast three times). Sooner or later they happen upon a real person like myself and find themselves enraged at my nerve to actually live a life.

How does she have so many interests? How does she know everyone from accountants to drag queens? How does she afford to travel? She is pretty so there has to be something wrong with her body? They really want to know how I have this full life as a single woman over 40. Surely, I'm miserable and just not fessing up.

They read every word I write and examine every picture I post of myself eagerly looking for clues and insight into what certainly must be my fake happiness. In my case they even found a guy I hung out with a few times. He was more than happy to "expose" the real me, especially after I failed to pursue a friendship with him. Of course they would never believe that but oh well such is life. You can't always pick winners.

In my life I don't accept abusive behaviour. I know who I am and I speak my mind and that threatens some people. I have a damned good life and that pisses a lot of people off. I have loads of family love and support. I have smart, talented friends who are socially aware and work to make a difference. I have role models all around me and I learn from them.

If you want to keep following me around the net, studying my every word go right ahead. Your disdain for me is your problem. I will keep living my life happy joyous and free. I'm sorry that threatens you and makes you angry. Maybe someday girlfriends, you can get lives of your own and start your own blogs with real thoughts and interests instead of petty little message boards where you spew hatred and cast aspersions on strangers. Maybe someday you won't be ashamed to post pictures of yourselves and you will stop staring at mine. Let me warn you if & when you finally make it, there will always be some asshole in cyberspace waiting to rip on you. That's OK though you will be strong enough to handle it because by then you will be secure within yourself. Just like me.

Me. Really.