Sometimes you just have to turn and walk away. You don't want to hurt anyone but then again you don't want to be hurt anymore. Maybe the person has changed or maybe it's you that has changed, it doesn't matter things aren't the same and you feel wounded.

Walking away in the hardest thing in the world for me. I'm so good at making excuses for people and letting them off the hook. I'm good at keeping myself tied in through imaginary guilt. If someone can't be present for me why would I hang on? That's the million dollar question for which I struggle until letting go becomes the answer.

This weekend I watched Superstar in a Housedress: The Life and Legend of Jackie Curtis. Curtis was an amazing performer and Warhol superstar who died in 1985. I actually didn't become familiar with Curtis until his death when the obituary appeared in then club bible- Details magazine. Curtis was by all accounts a genius and a tragedy waiting to happen. Warhol didn't enable his drug use and that was a good thing although it didn't keep him alive for long.

Maybe Andy knew how to walk away from his stars? He let Edie Sedgwick go after she left the factory. It doesn't keep people alive, but I'm sure it kept Andy from hurting more than he needed too.

Recently, I was told the person I walked away from is a much better friend now to others. "XXXX seems to appreciate me more and is much more available to me, " I'm told. This is not to say that I'm directly responsible for XXXX being a better person, but maybe my departure was a wake up call of some kind? One thing I have learned is taking care of myself is always the best thing I can do for myself and the people in my life.

Jackie Curtis on a Greenwich Village rooftop, leaning on the Empire State Building (1975)