I suppose some background would be in order. There are some major differences between the US and UK Christmas tradition. The US tradition is derived from the European Saint Nicolas/Santa Claus (I know you think the UK is part of Europe – but we don’t! We still talk about Europe in the third person even given our ties…brits eh?) Whilst in England he evolved from Father Christmas, a being closer to the spirit of the woods (the green man) to whom presents were given to ensure a new spring, as an aside he was dressed in a green hooded cloak and was still depicted as such when the Victorians resurrected Christmas and started sending cards. The (western) worldwide popularity of Christmas along with the mainland European influence of Queen Victoria’s consort, the German Prince Albert, blurred the differences over the years with influences taken from all over giving us the melange we have now. The introduction of red may have come from the bishops vestments of the St Nick tradition – or perhaps just as Coca Cola say it did, from them. So the UK has Father Christmas/Santa dressed in a red hooded cloak as opposed to the European/US bobble hat but otherwise looks the same.

The other major difference is our holiday is one day longer. The day after Christmas is called Boxing day, a public holiday The origins are obscure but most likely to be named because it is the day when, by tradition, the master gave a gift to the servants – a Christmas box. Originally this would be extra food perhaps for the harsh winter but evolved to gifts and the modern idea practice (unfortunately dying out) of a paid Christmas bonus.

With no Thanksgiving the holiday preparation ramps up from late November, as early as the shops think they can get away with it. The tabloids come out with Christmas diets and guides to office parties (how to avoid the letch\get the girl) with the big prize being the first paper to run the xmas TV schedule. This is a new development. Not so long ago the listings were seen as the property rights of the TV stations so the two biggest both had their own listings publications. The law was changed some years back and now there are what seems like hundreds of listing magazines all vying for space on the shelves.

As in any country, there are widely varying cultures but when we think of an English Christmas there are some things that are synonymous – although often more honoured in the breech!

Midnight Mass – We are a protestant country by default (the church of England – how many religions get started because a king wanted a shag but she was holding out till the wedding night so he had to get rid of his first wife?) but only about 10% of the population attend regularly. The exception being Christmas. The mass held at midnight Christmas Eve is ALWAYS packed to the rafters. But its not a sudden awakening of the spiritual – you are more likely to see semi-drunk revellers pre-atoning for the debauchery to follow or people attending as the would a play, as part of the tradition, a sort of contemporary medieval mystery play where the funny man rambles about a home birth and animal husbandry using Angels before you go home and celebrate the true meaning of Christmas – something about a old man who gave presents to kids so each year so in honour we now increase our alcohol tolerance and recite the mantra ‘Christmas is the time for kids!’

The Queens Speech – 3pm Christmas day her maj comes on TV and gives her address to the nation and commonwealth ( this is the bits of the planet we used to control but now are partners with now we are enlightened, mainly due to the fact we no longer have the ability to hold on to them any more!) It is said some used to stand up at home for the Queens speech but I never saw it. People talk about it but why they watch can run from tradition to duty to a chance to laugh at the toffs.

Brussels Sprouts – I really do not know if you suffer the horror of sprouts but they appear on every Christmas menu. If you don’t know they are imagine a cabbage the size of a chicken nugget that, when boiled, smells of urine…. Well that’s a sprout. It’s not all bad, mix them with chestnuts and they become more palatable but its not the usually way we cook vegetables. Usually we boil them for hours and throw away all the vitamins and goodness with the water.

Crackers – Started out a bon-bons, a French import during the Victorian age. bon-bons were sweets wrapped in tissue that you pulled apart after the Christmas meal. The fine industrious Victorians took the idea and they became what we have now – a tube closed at both ends containing a paper hat, motto or joke, a little gift and a ‘snap’ which is two pieces of thin card bound together very tightly with abrasive ends that make a cracking sound when pulled apart. You may know them as party favours but they are de-rigor to the Christmas table, along with our next item…

Christmas Pudding – A (very) rich fruit pudding, usually round, heavy with dried fruit and nuts soaked in your favourite spirit garnished with a sprig of holly and set ablaze moments before serving. Oh the horror stories involving incendiary puds and over-enthusiastic use of the good Brandy…There cannot be a home in England who cannot boast of a singed eyebrow or burnt pallet caused by this particular delicacy!

I could go on mulled wine, the cultural nightmare that is Pantomime etc– but this is far too long already so let me just send you my compliments for the season. I am sure the next Richard Curtis film will explain more about us bizarre brits!